Tombstone
by EXNativo
Summary: He's a hero, isn't he? So why can't he save those he loves? No longer a one-shot. BBRae.
1. Prologue - 1

Been a while since something killing my mood has inspired me to write. First person worked out better than I expected, so here's the first of its kind that has appeared on my profile.

Death is mentioned, but I hope you enjoy regardless.

**Disclaimer: Teen Titans and all of its affiliates are the property of DC... I think? I dunno, haven't really looked into it.**

**XxX**

How long have I been standing here?

My hands feel cold. My hair is wet, glued to my forehead by the deluge that has been assaulting the city for close to a month.

Dark green curtains, shielding my closed eyes from view. The water running down my face in random rivulets, dripping from my chin to the flowers I'm holding to my chest.

I don't mind, though. Even if I'm alone at the moment, it's nice knowing my tears are hidden.

I can't help but wonder how I look to anyone around. A statue among tombstones, hugging a plant to his chest. Then again, had any stranger been in my position, I probably wouldn't have given them much more than a sparing thought.

I never thought it would happen. Not to her. Not to us.

Today, Jump City lost a hero. A protector; an angel to those that needed guarding.

An unshakable portion of the city's foundations, falling away to history books and travel brochures. And with one careless mistake, it took my heart with it.

Our jobs had always been dangerous. We had never asked for powers, yet without thinking we had joined the battle for justice. Without question, we continued to defend those who were innocent. Silently working against the prerogative of those who opposed us.

Heh, that was a pretty big word. She would have been so proud of me. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I had tried to reach her expectations more often. Life had already become enough of a guessing game for me as it was.

What if I had trained that little bit harder? What if I hadn't ignored Robin's orders to not pursue the one person running from the scene? What if I hadn't sprung their trap? What if she hadn't managed to push me away from that dagger…?

Shit. I'm crying again. The last thing I need is the attention of my team right now. I can hear them, walking towards me through the rain.

There's only three sets of footsteps. There should be four. And they should be hers, walking from my grave.

I'm always fucking up. Always forcing others to save me, never doing anything in return.

Always acting too much like a little kid. Never competent, never helpful. Never being able to do anything as I lose people around me.

I can hear Robin's voice. Nothing specific, though. The words don't hold any meaning for me, not after all the bullshit he's spewed about me not being at fault.

No, I didn't know they had a fifth person hidden. But I should have. I should have figured it out when their last team member ran without any of the money they had stolen. Where were my animal senses then?

Not being used. Because the idiotic, overly confident kid who owns them was in the process of fucking everything up. Again.

The flowers are on the ground, leaning against her tombstone. It's the same colour as her skin, oh God. I'm not even sure if I dropped them, or just wasn't paying attention to my own actions. It wouldn't have been the first time.

I don't bother wiping my eyes as I turn to the silent trio behind me. I can't trick them, not after all these years. They won't say anything, though. We're usually good with silent borders; not saying what doesn't need to be said.

I don't really feel like walking right now, but transforming is out of the question. I haven't tried since her funeral, and I'm completely sure I'm never going to be morphing into the jaguar I was when she… saved me.

God damn it, I'm supposed to be a super hero. I'm supposed to be a protector of humanity, an indestructible wall against those who seek to destroy.

So why the fuck can't I save anyone I love?

**XxX**

Don't expect too many depression fics finding their way onto here. I suggest following me on Tumblr if you enjoy the darker side of my writing. Well, there's also the fact that most of my writing does take place there, so there's the bonus of a lot more content. Yes this has been a shameless self advertisement, but I made the fic so screw you. PSA ovah!

Got a spare review? Throw it on over here, God knows I need the buzz. My veins are beggin' for the stuff!

Later .o/

_**X**_


	2. Prologue - 2 & Author's notes

**This is no longer just a simple one-shot. More details in the author's notes at the bottom. I suggest you read them.**

**Rage's point of view, so a language warning is necessary.**

**Enjoy.**

**XxX**

Oh, great. Brilliant. Spec-fucking-tactular. This is just fucking perfect.

Knowledge had looked up at the very last second, her ridiculously annoying glasses wet with her own tears. Her skin had been pretty much transparent at that point, her glasses more or less a non-entity.

I always knew I was the strongest out of the gang that lived in this pathetic excuse for a dimension, but I'm not going to pretend for a second this was how I wanted to validate that claim.

I felt pretty worn out myself. The islands around me continued on their descent, but it's not like they'll be getting anywhere anytime soon.

This place is like a never ending ball. No matter how long these things keep falling, they'll never actually crash into anything other than each other. The ride is fun, sure, but I'm pretty sure I've passed that fucking star six times.

I know which one it is, because it's more annoying than the others. Reminds me of Timid, and the way her eyes would always be watering.

Fucking Hell, I think I'm starting to miss them.

It wasn't difficult figuring out what had happened out in the real world. Even if I wasn't vying for power and constantly looking out, I would have felt it.

It was impressive, to say the least. Like a knife slicing directly through my chest. We're all connected, or at least we were. Watching Rude take the opportunity to escape Brave's headlock whilst everyone else was frozen, then try to capture her in one of her own is probably the highlight of my month.

She had been the second one to disappear. A while after Timid more or less melted in a puddle of her own tears, true. We were all feeling the strain after the first couple of hours passed.

She fell asleep, the dumb pig. Faded away in between snores. Good fucking riddance. Already the prospect of life in Raven's fucked up psyche was looking brighter.

Happy and Love went a little after her. Disappeared crying in each other's arms. My eyes feel a little wetter, just remembering the scene of those two fading away together.

You tell anyone I said that, I will fucking end you.

We were alright for about a half hour after that. Trying to find answers, I actually worked with Brave. Worked with her and didn't try to kill her, you ask incredulously?

Our very existence is being threatened right now. I don't have time to argue with that idiotic tomboy, and that sort of out-weighs interest in earning a sticker for good behaviour.

I'll go back to trying to kill her after all this shit ends. If she even survives it.

Eventually, Sloth fell. It was kind of freaky, for the first time I was close enough to actually watch what had happened.

She had a hole, right through her heart. Yeah, us Emoticlones have them, too. Well, I'm not sure if I do, but the others?

Imagine Happy as a heartless spawn of Satan. Go on, I'll give you a fucking minute to waste whilst I continue disappearing on my own. What's that, the anatomy of an Emoticlone isn't important to you anymore? Gee wiz, Jimmy, good job on using your brain. Hurry the fuck up, you're slowing me down.

I don't know where Brave actually decided to go. For all I know, she's already moved on to a better place. Actually, I'm crossing my fingers that at least she ends up going down to Trigon's lair.

I know that's where I'll end up, and I'll be damned to Heaven if I pass up a chance of dragging that bitch down with me.

That won't happen yet, though.

Knowledge, for whatever reason, decided she'd stick with me over Puke-Cloak, but I'm not going to complain about that.

She's the only reason I'm still here. Not in the literal, stapling me to existence with her aura way. I'm talking figurative, stopping me from devolving into the messy, swearing, violent mess that nature would have created before I had time to vanish.

What? Stop looking at me like that, stress can do that to a person. I just watched some of those closest to me die, give me a break.

You see that light? No, not that one, retard. There, I'm pointing right at it. Yeah, that right there is our stop.

Looks familiar, you say? It should, that's the Forbidden Door. And now that everything has turned to shit, it's no longer guarded nor closed.

Hold up. Can you hear voices? They sound familiar…

Yep. That's them. The Titans. And Beast Boy…

What? No, I didn't say anything. Look, we need to go; I still don't know how long I've got, and the only thing Knowledge told me, apart from a spell, is that I'll need their help.

Still feels kind of weird. I've been dreaming of this portal for so long, it feels like. And now I'm about to step through, so I can save the life of my jailer, and well as my own.

Y'know, it still pisses me off a bit, how stupid Raven seems to be OK with being. Even I know how dense Beast Boy's bones are, she's never managed to break one when his dumb ass can make indents in the solid metal walls she throws him into.

And yet she leaps in front of the blade anyway. The blade aiming for his Trigon damn ribcage.

Fucking superheroes. Already I can tell how much I'm going to despise my time with them.

But I don't really have the luxury of complaining anymore. Oh well, at least I'll get to enjoy their faces as I pop out of their dead teammate's grave.

Can you hear me, Raven? Wherever you may be right now? I know you're not completely gone.

I'm still here. So that means you are too.

I'm awake. I'm fighting.

I'll save your dumb ass, and my own. And you can bet your fucking leotard I'm going to hate every second of it.

**XxX**

A/N: I'm going to let you all in on a secret.

Since the first chapter I posted on this website, I've wanted to write an Emoticlone story. Not an original concept, which raised a couple of issues with me as I pride myself on original concept fics.

I wanted to write a Beast Boy getting strong after being kicked off the team fic, so I took the team eviction out, put in entire team death, and added in time travel. None of that is spoilers, either. It's all in the first chapter. I seriously recommend Pausing The Flow to any who hasn't read it, by the way.

Anyway, not important. You're probably sitting there, sadly buckling up your pants because you're only realising now that I don't write smut. Or wondering where I may be going with this. Well, you best pull those trousers back down, because once you read the news I'm about to share you'll be getting a little 'uncomfortable'.

You all lubed up? Excellent. *Deep breath...*

This is going to be an Emoticlone fic!

Uh, I'll give you a second to grab a tissue and wipe off your laptop screen before I continue...

OK, that was gross. As I was saying, this is going to be an Emoticlone fic, but it will be a bit different from what you've come to expect from this website. It's a BBRae romance! Rage is going to be a major part of the story! The other Titans aren't going to be quite as prevalent as characte- wait a second.

I just described around about every single Emoticlone fic! What's so different about this one!? I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

If any of you was stupid enough to pay me, I can guarantee that you'll never be seeing that money again. I'm Italian, the attraction to the stuff borders on my addiction to oregano.

Well, angry and confused reader who is likely younger than I am, you'll have to wait and see. I'm planning on starting the actual chapters of this fic after I post the fifteenth chapter of Pausing The Flow (or PTF). For clarifications sake, at the moment I'm in the middle of writing chapter eight. So it's a little ways away, sort of just peeking over the horizon.

Anyway, I've kept you far too long. For that, I aplogise, and I'll be deleting these notes, and well as fusing the two chapters of this fic into one, as soon as I upload the first chapter of actual story. For now, consider these two prologues, that shall eventually become one like nature intended.

So, after that long ass note that I don't honestly expect all of you to have read, I wish anyone still here a good rest of their day.

For the next little while; Peace!

**_X_**


End file.
